Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Divorce


I was trying to think of something witty to say, anyway....Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline! I guess she listened to his new CD! Oh, there it is! Anyway, she wants full custody of their two children and I'm sure she'll have to pay him some ungodly amount of money.

Stem Cell Research

This blog is a little long, but bear with it....it's a good one.

If you haven't heard about it yet, watch this clip of Faith Hill being a sore loser! It is hilarious! This is one of the best unscripted moments in television history.

Today is election day, I am soooo glad that there will be no commercials for these propositions for a while. I had been looking for the ad with Patricia Heaton from "Everybody Loves Raymond" coming out against stem cell research. You can't help but laugh when Kurt Warner, former Super Bowl MVP says "Why does it cost $28,000,000 blah blah blah?" Hey Kurt Warner? How come you couldn't spend more than $15.00 on your commercial? Come on! Jesus opens and closes your commercial! Watch the low budget piece of crap that will probably convince Missourians to vote against stem cell research.

Is there anyone that reads my blog that is against stem cell research?

And if you get a chance....read the comments from viewers of the commercial....You'll get to see gems like:

"Liberals only "tolerate" those that agree with their ultra-left extremist social views about morality. Gay marriage. Abortion. Restrictions to religious freedom. Higher taxes of hard workers to pay for the services of the lazy. These are the beliefs of the leaders of the Democratic Party. Don't be fooled!"

I just love how liberals pull out the Jesus card whenever it's convenient for them... You libs think you're immune from criticism on any issue just because you have no principles yourself. As far as the elections go.. I'd almost like for you libs to win so we don't have to LISTEN TO YOUR WHINING for the next 4 years!! How do YOU know about the Jesus aspect of Christianity? Grow up, lib."

"Being totally uninformed is a trait of you liberal morons. When you say conservatives are, you're just projecting your own shortcomings."

"5 celebrities against 1. Talent Wins. Missouri wins. Goodnight, Democrats."

Those are just a few of the dumbest statements I have ever heard. There are over 200 comments just like those pertaining to the video. I hate stupid extremists. Just wait until 6 celebrities come out in a commercial promoting stem cell research! Boy, the republicans will be screwed when that happens!

And why is a guy who played Jesus, two baseball players, an old football player, and the mom from "Everybody Loves Raymond" trying to tell people what to do with their bodies? Whoo! That is firepower! Was Gary Coleman busy? What about Kevin Federline or Paris Hilton? Did they have previous engagements? Was Lindsay Lohan exhausted or dehydrated? Well, at least they were able to get Patricia Heaton, I mean, she did have roles in movies such as Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Beethoven and Space Jam!

Kurt Warner tells us that: "Scientists now say that there won't be any cures for at least 15 years!" Who wants to wait 15 years for the cures for such diseases as cancer and AIDS?!?!?! Am I right!?!? It didn't take Jesus 15 years to walk on water! It didn't take Jesus 15 years to turn water into wine! Do me a favor, if you see either Patricia Heaton or Janeane Garofalo (I hate the extreme left too!) walking down the street, punch them in the face! Actually, punch Janeane Garofalo twice, once for her extreme views on politics, and once for her crappy movies and miserable stand-up comedy routine.

Friday, November 3, 2006

Smelly

First Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe are splitting, and now Chris Rock and Malaak Compton-Rock are splitting after ten years of marriage and two kids. Does anyone stay married in Hollywood?

Are there any more straight men in Hollywood? First "Grey's Anatomy" actor T.R. Knight comes out to People Magazine. Now, you may be shocked, or you may realize something that you have suspected, bur Neil (DOOGIE HOWSER and BARNEY) PATRICK HARRIS has officially come out of the closet.



Don't people who wear perfume or cologne, wear it so they'll smell better?

Do you really want to smell like Paris Hilton? Ew. Now, Simon Cowell just announced that he's teaming up with a fragrance company to put his name on a cologne. I heard that if you mix the two scents together, it attracts buffalo in heat.

Finally, if you thought having Arnold Schwarzenegger as a governor was funny, then you'll enjoy this story. Well, it's a little scary actually.... Marvin Richardson, the self-proclaimed "most conservative politician in Idaho", is running for governor of Idaho. The catch? He's not running as Marvin Richardson. He just legally changed his name to "Pro-Life". No, not "Pro-Life" Richardson. Just "Pro-Life", like Cher or Prince.

He added "Pro-Life" as a middle name in 2004, but a court approved his request to make it his entire name as of August. However, "Pro-Life" made the change too late to get the updated name on the ballot. Idahoans, Idahoians, screw it.... People from Idaho, do not vote for this douche.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

I Need To Go Home!


Heather Mills McCartney is starting to bring out the big guns, telling the press that Paul McCartney pushed her into a bathtub, stabbed her with a broken wine glass, and hid her leg from her! I was wondering why she didn't tell anybody....but the I figured that she probably told her friend that has no arms and no legs that lives in a safe and comes calling when you die....his name is Will....oh...and her friend that has no arms and no legs that lives on a tennis court....her name is Annette.....or maybe her friend with no arms and no legs that lives on a mountain....his name is Cliff.....Or her friend that has no arms and no legs that lives on the beach....his name is Sandy! Oh man...Stop me!

Back on July 11, I wrote that Elvis Presley was the "Top Earning Dead Celebrity" in 2005 as reported by Forbes Magazine. Well, "The King" has been dethroned. Kurt Cobain has launched to the top spot as the "Top Earning Dead Celebrity" in 2006, earning approximately $50,000,000 in 2006.


Will somebody buy me the Kevin Federline "Playing With Fire" CD? Colleen refuses to buy it for me and has actually said "I forbid you to buy that album!"
If you have some time, watch this clip of Kevin Federline on WWE Raw.....He's such a douche nozzle!



On a final note, how did the entire world get the idea that the new Spears-Federline kid was named Sutton Pierce, when his actual name is Jayden James? And with a name like that, how is nobody going to mistake him for a female porn star? And what about this kid Madonna stole? The father's name is Yohane Banda and the name he and his wife came up with is David? What's the deal? Sounds like they were preparing him to work at an AOL customer service call center!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Say It Ain't So Bob!

It's Halloween time again.....woo hoo....For those of you who won't be seeing Noah tonight, he's going to be Pablo from the Backyardigans. I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow.


If you haven't seen "Balloon Manor", go check it out...They used over 100,000 balloons to make this Halloween house. Take the interactive tour too... It's kind of fun...

Balloon Manor

Also....if you enjoy games....try this dark M & M's game...You can save your progress and finish later if you want. It's full of pictures depicting horror movie titles.

M and M's Dark Chocolate Game

Bob Barker is retiring after 35 years as the host of the "Price Is Right", and 50 total years on television! At 83 years old, he looks like a young 78 year old! Apparently they've been looking for his replacement for the last couple of years. When interviewed, he creepily and funnily said "he'd take on a movie role if the right one came along, but filmmakers, take note: "I refuse to do nude scenes. These Hollywood producers want to capitalize on my obvious sexuality, but I don't want to be just another beautiful body." Well, at least your pets are spayed and neutered....

I've got to go get Noah and Colleen, so I'll leave you with one final, and probably the best link of the day. This video completely mesmerized me for two minutes...


Monday, October 30, 2006

St. Louis

Woo hoo....I'm back from New York! I was flown to New York City to be an alternate in the AOL Goldrush Game. I got to sit in my hotel room while the three finalists got to compete in Trump Tower, and then on the Early Show. Oh well, I'll try again for the million dollar round, and I did win one of these really cool $600.00 gold coins!

A lot of my blog readers are from Maryland....Let's see how well you know your home state.....What is the official sport of Maryland? The answer is coming up....

The St. Louis Cardinals recently beat the Detroit Tigers in the 2006 World Series. I, along with most everybody else in the country, paid no attention to the series, however, some interesting nuggets of information have risen to the surface.

David Eckstein, shortstop for the St. Louis Cardinals, and the 2006 World Series' Most Valuable Player, now has two world series rings. He was also on the Anaheim Angels in 2002 when they had their amazing world series run. So not only does he have two rings from two different teams in two different leagues, he set a new record this week. At 5'7" tall, David Eckstein is the shortest World Series MVP ever!

The other tid bit of information? St. Louis was recently designated as the country's most dangerous city.

Ok all you Marylanders....I hope you all knew that the state sport of Maryland is jousting!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Everybody Loves Peter


Peter Boyle, best known for his role as Frank Barone in the "Everybody Loves Raymond" television show, recently enjoyed a birthday. Did you know that in 1990, Peter suffered a stroke and was unable to talk for 6 months? Ok, trivia question of the day.....Who was the best man at Peter Boyle's wedding to Loraine Alterman, his wife of 29 years?

Well, Jerry and I visited a corn maze is Los Angeles this weekend. Between getting lost, traffic, and not being able to find a gas station in Orange County, it took us about 3 hours to get to the stupid maze. We entered the haunted corn maze behind a group of five teenagers.... The actors would jump out at the teenagers, they would scream and let Jerry and I know that the guy was around the corner. It took all the fun out of the maze. However, if any of those teenage boys in front of us read my blog....you looked really cool when you screamed like girls whenever somebody jumped out of the corn. What made the night fun was watching one of the teenage gentlemen, scared by one of the actors, run backwards and fall on his ass.... Good times.

Interesting news story today....Mr. Lawrence Roach had been married for 18 years when his wife decided that she wanted to have a sex change. So, his wife left him, changed her sex on her driver's license and has been living as a man since she left in preparation for her sex change surgery. Mr. Roach now has $1,200.00 taken out of his paycheck every month to pay his wife alimony. So, unless his ex-wife, ex-husband, whatever you want to call her or him, gets remarried, he has to pay her $1,200.00 a month for the rest of her life.

To answer the question above, "The Beatles" John Lennon was best man at Peter Boyle wedding. Peter's wife was a reporter for "Rolling Stone", when she met and became good friends with Yoko Ono. Through that relationship, Peter met and became best friends with Mr. Lennon.

The Funniest Joke In The World!

Scientists in London have tested over 40,000 jokes and have found what apparently is the world's funniest joke...

"A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a gunshot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "Okay, now what?"

What is your funniest joke?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

More Money Than God

If you've been to Vegas recently, you've seen this Casino.

It's named after its developer....Mr. Steve Wynn. It is the most expensive hotel in Las Vegas. This guy also built The Mirage Hotel and The Bellagio. For those of you who have never been to Las Vegas.....A night at The Bellagio or The Wynn Hotel will cost at least $300.00. And that's a weeknight....You're looking at spending at least $500.00 on a room for a Friday or Saturday night....for the cheapest room in the place....The Wynn Hotel has its own golf course and its own man made lake and mountain for goodness sake.

Anyway...I was sidetracked....Sorry!.....Here's what I wanted to talk about...Mr. Wynn has an eye disease that disrupts his peripheral vision. While showing off one of his paintings to a couple of friends....and when I say one of his paintings, I mean "Le Reve," painted by a little known artist named Pablo Picasso.

Anyway, while showing off one of his paintings to a couple of friends, he accidentally put his elbow through the painting, causing a tear in the canvas. He looked at it, turned around, and said: "Hey, at least I did it." You'd think he'd be a little shaken up....seeing that he had recently sold the painting for $139,000,000.00!!!!! and all that was left to do was put the piece of art in a crate to ship to the buyer. It must be nice to have more money than god....

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Spider....AAAAAHHH!

Lindsay Lohan has revealed in an interview that she wants to win an Oscar by the time she is 30. I was hoping that she would be nominated for a Best Actress Award for her role in "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen". Sadly, my prayers were not answered.

Terrell Owens....Football superstar? Clown? Anyway.... You've all heard of him and his antics.....especially his recent alleged pill mix up reported as a suicide attempt. The first thing you need to do is listen to his rap in this youtube video.

Ok....You've seen him as a big shot in the athletic world.....You've heard his domination of the hip hop world.....He's dominated the adult book world with his autobiography.....Well, now....Terrell Owens has written a children's book. Awesome.... Alleen and Noah....Guess what you're getting for Christmas! It hits shelves November 15, 2006. By the way....please notice the starburst on the front cover...."1st in the TO Timeout Series". There will be more!!!!!! For a brief description of the book, go to www.littletlearnstoshare.com.


Brown widows have been found in Orange County. They're popping up all over the place. They're native to Texas, Florida, Louisiana, and Mississippi. They're not as aggressive and their bite does not pack as much of a punch as their Black Widow counterparts, however, arachnid experts say that Brown Widow venom is stronger than Black Widow venom when compared drop for drop. Apparently the only ill effects are a very painful bite and a red mark at the affected area. So if you have kids or pets...keep an eye out for the new eight legged monsters.

Maize Maze

Does anyone want to go to a maize maze with me this weekend? There are a couple of corn mazes around Southern California, and I don't want to go alone.

Rose Rock, Chris Rock's mom, is suing the Cracker Barrel chain of restaurants for racial discrimination. She says she was seated, and then they ignored her for half an hour. When she told the manager about the ordeal, she and her daughter, were offered a free meal, but at that point they did not want to eat. The news story does not indicate whether Ms. Rock said "Excuse me, we haven't ordered yet," or "Do you know who I am? I am Chris Rock's mother."

"He never called over the waitresses and asked, `Why did these people sit here for an hour without service?"' said Ms. Rock.

What? I'm not going to say that this is a case of racial discrimination, but this sounds like a pretty stupid case to me. By the way, Al Sharpton heard about the case and his foundation is going to fund the lawsuit against Cracker Barrel.

Next time I get crappy service, I'm going to demand that the manager call the waitress over and to scream "Why are you racist?" at the girl. "I asked for medium rare, you mother-effing racist scum!"

Cracker Barrel does participate in racial discrimination. I visited a Cracker Barrel restaurant and General Store in Atlanta, Georgia on a business trip. They did not have one white waiter or waitress in the store when I was there. And the fact that they have the nerve to name their restaurant "'Cracker' Barrel"????? Come on! Racist scum! Where's Al Sharpton! I need a lawyer!

On a final note.... How much does "30 Rock"" blow.... and how great is "Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip"!

Monday, October 16, 2006

He Dodged That Bullet


Remember Jennifer Wilbanks? She ran away from home in Duluth, Georgia, last April to skip out on her wedding to John Mason. Her disappearance sparked a nationwide search and intensive media coverage. On April 29, 2005, she called her fiance from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and falsely claimed that she had been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a Hispanic male and a white woman.

Well, now Wilbanks files a lawsuit against her ex-fiance for $500,000, claiming it is her share of a home the ex-fiance purchased with the proceeds to a book deal he negotiated for them when she was medicated, and punitive damages. She is also suing for possession of personal items, including a ladder that belonged to her father, a gold-colored sofa, a new vacuum cleaner and wedding shower gifts.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Time To Move

If anybody has ever needed to move, this is the lady. This is Kathleen Caronna.

Remember that Manhattan apartment building we saw on TV this week that New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle crashed his plane into?

This lady lived in one of the apartments that was destroyed by the plane crash and the ensuing fire. The plane's engine landed in her bedroom!

An interview with Mrs. Caronna revealed that she was picking her son up from school, and if the plane crash had occurred just minutes later, both she and her son would have been in the apartment.

Mrs. Caronna seems to be a magnet for freak and bizarre accidents.

In 1997, during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Cat in the Hat balloon went out of control and knocked over a section of a lamppost that weighed several hundred pounds. That section of the lamppost fell on the head of Mrs. Caronna! The impact cracked her skull and left her in a coma for 28 days!

The associated press reported that: "Caronna had been watching the parade with her husband and infant son at 72nd Street and Central Park West. The plane crash occurred at 72nd and York Avenue, several blocks east."

What a weird coincidence!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Good Stuff!

Why don't congressmen use bookmarks?

Because they prefer their pages bent over!

Heyo!

Wow

What would you name your child?

According to news reports from Biloxi Mississippi:

"Leann Real promised her husband, an avid sports fan, that if they ever had a son he'd get to pick the name. ESPN Montana Real was born this week at Biloxi Regional Medical Center.

Rusty Real, of D'Iberville, chose ESPN (pronounced Espen) after the sports network and Montana after football legend Joe Montana.

Baby ESPN isn't alone.

Three others were cited in a 2005 report on tivocommunity.com about the network's 25th anniversary. They are Espn Malachi McCall in Pampa, Texas; Espn Curiel in Corpus Christi, Texas; and Espn Blondeel in Michigan."

Monday, October 9, 2006

Christmas

Has anybody else seen the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book? I'm going to take the trivia questions straight from the online catalog and use them for my blog....

1. How long did it take all 60 Maserati Quattroportes, at $125,000 each, to sell out from the 2004 Christmas Book?

2. At $35 Million, what was the most expensive gift ever offered in the Christmas Book?

3. In 1967, they offered a fanciful wig made of what unusual material?

Do you like writing in style? Try the Mont Blanc Diamond Pen. I'm going to stick with my Papermate pens....but hey, if you can afford a $160,930.00 pen....go for it!

If you're still looking for something to get me for Christmas....Neiman Marcus offers a Virgin Galactic Charter to Space for only $1,764,000.00.

"You've wished upon a star, tried to find the man in the moon, and secretly still want to be an astronaut (remember when you were 8 years old?). Now, for the first time, the heavens are truly within reach, when you charter Virgin Galactic for the journey into space. It may sound like science fiction, but it's very real indeed."

"The Burton-Rutan designed SpaceShipOne® has already completed three space missions and won the $10 million Ansari X Prize® for the first private space flight. Now, funded by Virgin, Rutan is building a larger, commercial version of SpaceShipOne exclusively for Virgin Galactic" (and) "is on schedule to begin regular private space travel in 2009."

"Your six-passenger charter begins with three days of medical assessments and training for the astronauts-to-be. When your systems are go, your group will board SpaceShipTwo® and fly off attached to a launching aircraft."

"About 10 miles up, the countdown will occur in mid-air. SpaceShipTwo will detach, fire its custom-designed hybrid rocket, and propel you into the majesty of space. Most astronauts have trouble describing the ethereal, awe-inspiring view of Earth from the silence of space; your six travelers won't have to put it into words. About 63 miles above sea level, you will also experience weightlessness firsthand."

"After gliding back to Earth with a runway landing, it's off to Sir Richard Branson's private island retreat in the British Virgin Islands for each astronaut and a guest. Your party of 12 will enjoy luxury accommodations on Necker Island and four nights of all-inclusive festivities. Sir Richard will host an exclusive celebration and personally present each member of your flight with a set of Virgin Galactic astronaut wings."

"With events on land, in the air, and in space, this is the ultimate getaway. For more information on a gift package that is genuinely out of this world, please call 877.9NM.GIFT."

Here are the answers to the trivia questions....

1. All 60 Maserati Quattroportes, were sold out in four minutes!

2. The most expensive gift ever offered in the Christmas Book was a 120-passenger Boeing jet!

3. The wig was made of 24-karat gold and weighed 10 pounds!

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Scary

The likeness of the new bachelor, Prince Lorenzo Borghese, to Balki Bartokomous, or as you may know him, Bronson Pinchot, is incredible. I wonder if Cousin Larry will make a cameo. Did you know that "Perfect Strangers" was on television for eight seasons! For those of you who are old enough to remember "Perfect Strangers", what actress from "Everybody Loves Raymond" was nominated for an Emmy for her role in "Perfect Strangers"?

Ok, so his album hits store shelves on Halloween. He's got the video for his song "Lose Control" on his MySpace site. He is such a douche nozzle.

Fantastic new lyrics from his new song "Privilege". Badness in its purest form.

It's going down like a fresh pair of panties, Cab looked better than a couple pair of Grammy's.
You understand me, the city is mine,
so I do like the roll, I twist and wind.

Grab your purse, hop in the two seater,
I've got a stash spot big enough to fit two heaters,
One for me, and one for my girl,
Bonnie and Clyde ready to conquer the whole world.

I got Gucci on, she got Prada,
She calls me daddy, but she's not my daughter,
And I'm not her father, I'm just a mack,
I got tired of drugs, so I switched to rap, like that.

How about "Arrested Development"? Do you remember that show? Well, George Michael has a band!!!! You can check out his MySpace at "The Long Goodbye Band". Finally, the answer you've been waiting for......Doris Roberts was nominated for playing Mrs. Bailey in the "Maid To Order" episode.

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Scorsese

Colleen suggested that I change the format of my blog. She thinks that I should post the trivia question, then answer it in my next blog. What do you guys think?

Ok, so here's the trivia question for today. The question is threefold.

1. Martin Scorsese - Director of such films as 'The Aviator', 'Gangs of New York', 'Cape Fear', 'The Color of Money', 'Raging Bull' and 'GoodFellas'. Writer of 'GoodFellas' and 'The Age of Innocence'! How many Academy Awards has Martin Scorsese won?

2. What infamous music video did Martin Scorsese direct?

3. What African-American actor, at the very beginning of his career, had a role in that music video at the young age of 25?

The NBA is going to use a new ball during games this year. Here's a picture of it. I'm done with that story.

Has anyone here seen the Greg Berhendt Show? I saw one minute of his show while sitting at the Sacramento Airport. It is the worst show ever....and I was able to come to that conclusion after watching only one minute of the show! He was talking about pets ruining relationships...and he tried to pull a "Top 5" or "Top 10" list like David Letterman. Well, you want to know the number two reason you might know that your pet is ruining your relationship? He text messages you when he's hungry to let you know he's ready to eat! What the hell! Greg Berhendt needs to be killed.... I went to the show's website to find a recap of the show....the recap includes this comment.....:

"Have you ever seen a dog and its owner dance together? We were all amazed to see it today."

You were amazed! Die!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and get a last name that maybe one person in the world can spell!

Finally, I was reading the sports news, and I came across this headline...

"Business Exec Signs Agreement to Buy Pens"

He's actually buying the Pittsburgh Penguins from Mario Lemiux.

Ok, here's the answer to the trivia question....

1. The infamous Mr. Scorsese has been nominated SEVEN times, but has NEVER won!

2. Martin Scorsese directed the music video for Michael Jackson's 'Bad'.

3. Wesley Snipes played Mini Max in the video.

Cox in 2008

Have you heard of this man?

He is John Cox, a 51-year old republican lawyer from Chicago, and he plans to run for the office of the President of the United States of America. I beg you all to vote for him. Not because he's a republican, not because he promises to abolish the federal income tax, solve immigration problems and keep gas prices low. Elect him because it would be the greatest thing ever to have a President Cox follow President Bush!

Friday, September 29, 2006

Come On Oprah! #235? You Are Soooooo Poor!

Forbes Magazine has been ranking the 400 Richest Americans since way back in 1982. In that year's issue only 13 of the mighty 400 were billionaires, the rest had merely hundreds of millions of dollars.

The 2006 issue came out last week. How many of the 400 are now worth a billion or more? The answer, after this....

Want to hear something interesting, well I think it's interesting....Flavor Flav has five children....their names are Shanique, 13; William Jr., 12; Karren, 11; Da'Zyna, 7; Quanah, 5; Kayla, 3.

Colleen, if we have a daughter....I want to name her Da'Zyna......please?

Jerry...you are wrong! Something interesting did happen in hockey this week.... The New York Islanders signed goalie Rick DiPietro to a 15-year contract where he will be making $4.75 million a year, for a total of $67.5 million! Talk about job security. His contract ends in 2021! He's going to be a 40-year old goalie...

Did you know that Rob Zombie got his start in show business as a production assistant on the Pee Wee's Playhouse?

Ok... Here's your answer....This year's Forbes 400 list of the richest Americans contains 400 billionaires for the first time! 999 million dollars doesn't even get you in the issue this year. Bill Gates is still number one with $53 billion....George Lucas was #70 with $3.6 billion, Steven Spielberg and Donald Trump were tied at #94 with $2.9 billion. Oprah is #235 with $1.4 billion....Martha Stewart dropped off the list this year. Poor poor Martha.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I'm Going To Write About Sports - Why? - Because I Have A Penis - That's Why!


Do you believe in the Madden Curse? Electronic Arts executives announced Seattle Seahawks Running Back Shaun Alexander would be on the cover of the 2007 version of the Madden Franchise. It was recently announced that Alexander would be out indefinitely with a broken foot. Now it turns out that it will be approximately two to three weeks before Alexander can return to the team.

Detroit Lions Running Back Barry Sanders - Sanders appears on the 2000 edition of the Madden Franchise. Known as one of the best running backs in NFL history, Barry Sanders abruptly retired one week before training camp started for the season. At the height of his career, Sanders retired just 1,500 yards short of becoming the NFL's All-Time Leader in Rushing Yards.

Tennessee Titans Running Back Eddie George - George appears on the 2001 edition of the Madden Franchise. The previous year, George led his team to the Super Bowl. George had a career season that year, however, he bobbled a pass in the playoffs that year, which led to a turnover, which was returned for a touchdown, which cost the Titans the game. The following season, his rushing average sank to an all-time low.

Minnesota Vikings Quarterback Daunte Culpepper - Culpepper appears on the 2002 edition of the Madden Franchise. The previous year he had led his team to the NFC championship game. The year he was on the cover, the Vikings struggled to a 4-7 record, until Culpepper was shelved with a season-ending knee injury.

St. Louis Rams Running Back Marshall Faulk - Faulk appears on the 2003 edition of the Madden Franchise. Faulk led the St. Louis Rams to two Super Bowls in the three previous years, and had more than 1,300 yards rushing in each of those seasons, before appearing on the cover of the Madden football game. The year Faulk was on the cover, he suffered an ankle injury, dropped to under 1,000 yards rushing, and had a bad season overall. He never broke through the 1,000 yards rushing mark for the rest of his career.

Atlanta Falcons Quarterback Michael Vick - Vick appears on the 2004 edition of the Madden Franchise. Vick fractured his right fibula in a preseason game ONE DAY after the game hit store shelves. Vick played in only 5 regular season games, finishing with only 585 yards passing and 4 touchdowns. The Atlanta Falcons missed the playoffs, finishing the season with 5 wins and 11 losses, a stark contrast on the team's 9-6-1 record the season prior.

Baltimore Ravens Linebacker Ray Lewis - Lewis appears on the 2005 edition of the Madden Franchise. Lewis suffered an injury that kept him out of the last game of the regular season. It was also Lewis' first season without a single interception, after posting a career-high 6 the previous year. The Baltimore Ravens also failed to make the playoffs that season, after winning their division the year before. Furthermore, in Week 6 of the following year, Ray Lewis' season was ended by a torn hamstring.

Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Donovan McNabb - McNabb appears on the 2006 edition of the Madden Franchise. In the first game of the regular season, McNabb took a hit to the chest from the helmet of Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle Chad Lavalais. After the game, it was revealed that McNabb had a 'sports hernia' that needed surgery. Refusing to have the required season-ending surgery while the Eagles (who had made the Super Bowl the previous season) still had a chance to make the playoffs, McNabb played in discomfort and pain throughout the season. On November 21, 2005, McNabb, on the advice of his doctors, opted to have season-ending surgery for his sports hernia; the Eagles had been eliminated from playoff contention and finished the year with a 6-10 record.

Madden is on the cover of the Hall of Fame edition of the game this year. Will he make it through the 2006-2007 season? We're going to have to wait and see.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Grilled

I watched a great movie last night! If you haven't seen the movie "Grilled", go rent it! I don't know how this movie slipped through the cracks, but I did not hear and advertising for the movie. The movie stars Ray Romano, Kevin James, Michael Rappaport, Burt Reynolds (who now officially looks like a piece of beef jerky), Juliette Lewis, and Sophia Vergarra (ding ding ding!) Kevin James and Ray Romano play struggling meat salesman who get caught up in organized crime. I know it sounds horrible, but it was really good. If you are a fan of the dark comedy, go rent this movie!

Madonna has set the record for highest grossing tour for a female artist. Tour producer Arthur Fogel puts the tally at $193.7 million from 60 shows that drew nearly 1.2 million in paid attendance.

That gross narrowly puts Madonna over Cher's benchmark of $192.5 million. However, it took Cher an endurance-testing 273 shows between June 2002 and April 2005 to reach that mark on her marathon Farewell tour.

Oh look! Madonna on a cross! My blog is soooo controversial.
Can't you just go on a Tuesday morning? Six Flags Great America is using new tactics, other than the creepy dancing old guy, to try to entice people to visit their theme parks. Cockroaches. Starting October 7, 2006, the Six Flags theme park in Illinois will offer park visitors a pass for four people to cut to the front of ride lines. The stipulation? They will have to eat a live 2- to 3-inch horned Madagascar hissing cockroach.

The park will also offer a cooked roach eating contest to park visitors on Friday the Thirteenth of October. And in case you wanted to know....The world record for eating cockroaches was set by a British man who ate 36 cockroaches!

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