Friday, September 29, 2006

Come On Oprah! #235? You Are Soooooo Poor!

Forbes Magazine has been ranking the 400 Richest Americans since way back in 1982. In that year's issue only 13 of the mighty 400 were billionaires, the rest had merely hundreds of millions of dollars.

The 2006 issue came out last week. How many of the 400 are now worth a billion or more? The answer, after this....

Want to hear something interesting, well I think it's interesting....Flavor Flav has five children....their names are Shanique, 13; William Jr., 12; Karren, 11; Da'Zyna, 7; Quanah, 5; Kayla, 3.

Colleen, if we have a daughter....I want to name her Da'Zyna......please?

Jerry...you are wrong! Something interesting did happen in hockey this week.... The New York Islanders signed goalie Rick DiPietro to a 15-year contract where he will be making $4.75 million a year, for a total of $67.5 million! Talk about job security. His contract ends in 2021! He's going to be a 40-year old goalie...

Did you know that Rob Zombie got his start in show business as a production assistant on the Pee Wee's Playhouse?

Ok... Here's your answer....This year's Forbes 400 list of the richest Americans contains 400 billionaires for the first time! 999 million dollars doesn't even get you in the issue this year. Bill Gates is still number one with $53 billion....George Lucas was #70 with $3.6 billion, Steven Spielberg and Donald Trump were tied at #94 with $2.9 billion. Oprah is #235 with $1.4 billion....Martha Stewart dropped off the list this year. Poor poor Martha.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I'm Going To Write About Sports - Why? - Because I Have A Penis - That's Why!


Do you believe in the Madden Curse? Electronic Arts executives announced Seattle Seahawks Running Back Shaun Alexander would be on the cover of the 2007 version of the Madden Franchise. It was recently announced that Alexander would be out indefinitely with a broken foot. Now it turns out that it will be approximately two to three weeks before Alexander can return to the team.

Detroit Lions Running Back Barry Sanders - Sanders appears on the 2000 edition of the Madden Franchise. Known as one of the best running backs in NFL history, Barry Sanders abruptly retired one week before training camp started for the season. At the height of his career, Sanders retired just 1,500 yards short of becoming the NFL's All-Time Leader in Rushing Yards.

Tennessee Titans Running Back Eddie George - George appears on the 2001 edition of the Madden Franchise. The previous year, George led his team to the Super Bowl. George had a career season that year, however, he bobbled a pass in the playoffs that year, which led to a turnover, which was returned for a touchdown, which cost the Titans the game. The following season, his rushing average sank to an all-time low.

Minnesota Vikings Quarterback Daunte Culpepper - Culpepper appears on the 2002 edition of the Madden Franchise. The previous year he had led his team to the NFC championship game. The year he was on the cover, the Vikings struggled to a 4-7 record, until Culpepper was shelved with a season-ending knee injury.

St. Louis Rams Running Back Marshall Faulk - Faulk appears on the 2003 edition of the Madden Franchise. Faulk led the St. Louis Rams to two Super Bowls in the three previous years, and had more than 1,300 yards rushing in each of those seasons, before appearing on the cover of the Madden football game. The year Faulk was on the cover, he suffered an ankle injury, dropped to under 1,000 yards rushing, and had a bad season overall. He never broke through the 1,000 yards rushing mark for the rest of his career.

Atlanta Falcons Quarterback Michael Vick - Vick appears on the 2004 edition of the Madden Franchise. Vick fractured his right fibula in a preseason game ONE DAY after the game hit store shelves. Vick played in only 5 regular season games, finishing with only 585 yards passing and 4 touchdowns. The Atlanta Falcons missed the playoffs, finishing the season with 5 wins and 11 losses, a stark contrast on the team's 9-6-1 record the season prior.

Baltimore Ravens Linebacker Ray Lewis - Lewis appears on the 2005 edition of the Madden Franchise. Lewis suffered an injury that kept him out of the last game of the regular season. It was also Lewis' first season without a single interception, after posting a career-high 6 the previous year. The Baltimore Ravens also failed to make the playoffs that season, after winning their division the year before. Furthermore, in Week 6 of the following year, Ray Lewis' season was ended by a torn hamstring.

Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Donovan McNabb - McNabb appears on the 2006 edition of the Madden Franchise. In the first game of the regular season, McNabb took a hit to the chest from the helmet of Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle Chad Lavalais. After the game, it was revealed that McNabb had a 'sports hernia' that needed surgery. Refusing to have the required season-ending surgery while the Eagles (who had made the Super Bowl the previous season) still had a chance to make the playoffs, McNabb played in discomfort and pain throughout the season. On November 21, 2005, McNabb, on the advice of his doctors, opted to have season-ending surgery for his sports hernia; the Eagles had been eliminated from playoff contention and finished the year with a 6-10 record.

Madden is on the cover of the Hall of Fame edition of the game this year. Will he make it through the 2006-2007 season? We're going to have to wait and see.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Grilled

I watched a great movie last night! If you haven't seen the movie "Grilled", go rent it! I don't know how this movie slipped through the cracks, but I did not hear and advertising for the movie. The movie stars Ray Romano, Kevin James, Michael Rappaport, Burt Reynolds (who now officially looks like a piece of beef jerky), Juliette Lewis, and Sophia Vergarra (ding ding ding!) Kevin James and Ray Romano play struggling meat salesman who get caught up in organized crime. I know it sounds horrible, but it was really good. If you are a fan of the dark comedy, go rent this movie!

Madonna has set the record for highest grossing tour for a female artist. Tour producer Arthur Fogel puts the tally at $193.7 million from 60 shows that drew nearly 1.2 million in paid attendance.

That gross narrowly puts Madonna over Cher's benchmark of $192.5 million. However, it took Cher an endurance-testing 273 shows between June 2002 and April 2005 to reach that mark on her marathon Farewell tour.

Oh look! Madonna on a cross! My blog is soooo controversial.
Can't you just go on a Tuesday morning? Six Flags Great America is using new tactics, other than the creepy dancing old guy, to try to entice people to visit their theme parks. Cockroaches. Starting October 7, 2006, the Six Flags theme park in Illinois will offer park visitors a pass for four people to cut to the front of ride lines. The stipulation? They will have to eat a live 2- to 3-inch horned Madagascar hissing cockroach.

The park will also offer a cooked roach eating contest to park visitors on Friday the Thirteenth of October. And in case you wanted to know....The world record for eating cockroaches was set by a British man who ate 36 cockroaches!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Kickball

Does anyone want to join a kickball team with me? Chelsea? Jerry? Any of you that read my blog? They play in Irvine..... I don't want to join by myself.... Anybody?

Come on....You owe me.... Why, you ask? Nobody told me that the United States now has an elephant polo team! There was a posting on CraigsList that included:

Join the DC Elephant Polo Team as we go to Thailand for the 2006 Kings Cup Elephant Polo Championships! . . . No previous polo experience is necessary.

They just went to Hua Hin, Thailand, where they played polo on elephants for the first time! I am so jealous!

The practices consisted of the teammates batting a ball around and waving homemade eight-foot-long bamboo mallets - while standing on part of a swing set and an electrical utility box to simulate an elephant's height.

So, how about it? Kickball anyone?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!



Friday, September 15, 2006

ONE BILLION

Here's a short blog today....It's very busy at work, and I want to go home on time today.....here it comes....

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest has passed the ONE BILLION dollar mark last weekend! What two films are the only other films to top the ONE BILLION dollar mark? Answer after this....

Shiver me timbers!.....Ye be warned!...."Talk Like A Pirate Day" is Tuesday, September 19, 2006. I expect nothing less from all of you. You should all talk like pirates all day. I will be watching.

The only other movies to ever top the ONE BILLION DOLLAR box office mark are:

Titanic - $1,845,000,000

Lord of the Rings - Return of the Ring - $1,118,900,000

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Buckwild


I know that none of you watch "The Flavor of Love". I know what you're thinking......stupid reality television......How interesting can Flavor Flav be? Well, women come from around the country to compete for a chance to date Flavor Flav, and the show is awesomely bad. However, there is one beautifully shining diamond in the rough, and her name is Buckwild. She is the blackest white woman I have ever seen!

Pitt and Jolie Marriage


New quote from Brad Pitt: "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine's October issue, on newsstands September 19, 2006.

I'm sure George W. Bush and all of the other radical right wingers are all jumping to legalize gay marriage now....thanks Brad.

Dinner Party


So, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey are dating and Colleen and I disagree on whether or not it would be fun to have them over for dinner. Colleen thinks it would be a lot of fun. I, on the other hand, would rather die. I can just imagine it....."Oh, ha ha ha....Jim's making faces and using a funny voice! Oh boy, I can't get enough of that Fire Marshall Bill! Oh man, that is funny Jimmy! Oh, and look, Jenny has breadsticks in her nose and she's wearing her napkin as a hat! You guys are too much!" Then after dinner, as you walk them to the door and they thank you for a wonderful evening, I guarantee you, that you would look at your significant other, sigh in relief, and say "Well, we're never going to have them over again."

Sick

What is going on? Noah got sick, then Colleen gets sick, then my brother gets sick, and then my mom goes into the hospital with pneumonia.

Colleen and Chelsea: You seemed to be having so much fun with that map game.....Let's see if you know where the terrorists live!

WHERE DO THE TERRORISTS LIVE!

Singing Sensation

With all the horribleness that goes along with this show, I cannot believe that it is still on the air! Lea Thompson was eliminated in the second week of "Celebrity Duets". I love it when thy refer to her as "Caroline in the City's" Lea Thompson....the show has not been on since 1998.

However she did have some singing experience.....she was the pop punk starlet in "Howard The Duck"!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Confusing

Ok....Did anybody else know that it is the five year anniversary of 9/11? I haven't seen any television coverage or heard any radio coverage! Nothing on the internet either.....Oh wait....It's everywhere.
Anybody else watching this "Path to 9/11" thing on ABC? It gives me goosebumps. The movie scares the hell out of me.....and I know how it ends!

Anyway, In a September 9, 2006 article in the Los Angeles Times:
The Senate Intelligence Committee on Friday said it had found no evidence that Saddam Hussein had ties to Al Qaeda or provided safe harbor to one of its most notorious operatives, Abu Musab Zarqawi — conclusions contradicting claims by the Bush administration before it invaded Iraq.

In a long-awaited report, the committee instead determined that the former Iraqi dictator was wary of Al Qaeda; repeatedly rebuffed requests from its leader, Osama bin Laden, for assistance; and sought to capture Zarqawi when the terrorist turned up in Baghdad.
White House spokesman Tony Snow on Friday downplayed the significance of the report, describing it as "nothing new."

"It's … kind of relitigating things that happened three years ago," Snow said. "In 2002 and 2003, members of both parties got a good look at the intelligence we had, and they came to the very same conclusions about what was going on."

Wait, what? The response we get from the White House spokesman is "Yeah, we knew that already." Wait a minute.... What? Why? Why are we in Iraq then? I am sooooooo confused.

It's a long article, so I'll include a link to it here......
"Iraq Not Linked To Al Qaeda"

Cheney


Is he crying? Don't the tears burn his skin?

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Steve Irwin

Ok, so, first things first, for those of you living under a rock, Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin was killed by a stingray's barb to the heart on Monday while ironically filming for a show called "The Ocean's Deadliest". I would have never thought that he would have been killed by an animal. He made it look like he was invincible when you watched his show. He leaves behind his wife Terri, and his two children, Bindi and Robert.

1962 - 2006

On an interesting note: How rare is death by stingray? Only one other confirmed stingray death has been recorded in Australian history - that of a 12-year-old boy stung near Innisfall in 1988.

P.S. I don't want to hear any more newscasters say the word "Crikey".

Interesting

They displayed an interesting fact during Tiger Woods' fifth consecutive PGA Tour victory this weekend.

Tiger's First Professional Paycheck:

$2,544

Tiger's Average Winnings Per Shot In 2006:

Approximately $2,570

That's pretty disgusting. The man is incredible!


In baseball, Anibal "The Cannibal" Sanchez is the first pitcher to throw a no hitter in 6,364 games! The last no-hitter in the majors was a perfect game by Arizona's Randy Johnson, who beat Atlanta, 2-0, on May 18, 2004. The previous longest gap between no-hitters was 4,015 games, from September 30, 1984 to September 16, 1986, according to the Elias Sports Bureau.

Friday, September 1, 2006

Superhero


I don't want to spoil it for you, but in a thrilling ending to "Who Wants To Be A Superhero" on the SciFi Channel last night, Feedback beat Fat Momma to become the newest superhero!

Feedback (aka Matthew Atherton) walks away with his character immortalized in a new comic book developed with Stan Lee and will appear in an original SCI FI Channel movie! Try to contain your excitement!

Smokers!

I came across an interesting article in the Washington Post today....Can they do this legally? Check this out...


"The amount of nicotine in most cigarettes rose an average of almost 10 percent from 1998 to 2004, with brands most popular with young people and minorities registering the biggest increases and highest nicotine content, according to a new study."

"Boxes of Doral lights, a low-tar brand made by R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co., had the biggest increase in yield, 36 percent. Some of this may have been the result of an increase in the total amount of tobacco put in that brand's cigarettes, one expert said."

"The nicotine in Marlboro products, preferred by two-thirds of high school smokers, increased 12 percent. Kool lights increased 30 percent. Two-thirds of African American smokers use menthol brands."

Entourage

Noah had a fever last night of 104 degrees....Pretty scary....He felt a lot cooler when I left the house this morning though. I hope he feels better today.

The television is back! And it works! Mmmmm....65 inches of goodness....

How does someone with sooooo little talent, get so many opportunities to show off his talentlessness? Kevin Federline is going to appear on three episodes of "Entourage"? He has been cast to play a deadbeat husband of a celebrity. I wonder how he is going to pull that one off. Seriously? Come on now...."CSI" and "Entourage"? When are we going to see Kevin Federline on "Lost" or "The Sopranos"?

Remember Kyra Phillips? The lady whose microphone was on during the Bush press conference. Well, apparently, she was talking about how great her husband is, then mentioned that her sister-in-law is "a control freak". Originally, I didn't know that she was saying the her husband was great and all that....but it's going to be a tense Thanksgiving dinner at her house this year. Well, she was on the Late Show with David Letterman to give the "Top Ten Kyra Phillips Excuses". Good job Kyra, way to go! That is a great sense of humor!

Top Ten Kyra Phillips Excuses Presented by CNN's Kyra Phillips:

10. "Still haven't mastered complicated On/Off switch."

9. "Larry King told me he does this all the time."

8. "How was I supposed to know we had a reporter embedded in the bathroom?"

7. "I honestly never knew this sort of thing was frowned upon."

6. "Couldn't resist chance to win $10,000 on `America's Funniest Home Videos."'

5. "I was set up by those bastards at Fox News."

4. "Oh, like YOU'VE never gone to the bathroom and had it broadcast on national television!"

3. "I just wanted that hunky Lou Dobbs to notice me."

2. "OK, so I was drunk and couldn't think straight."

1. "You have to admit, it made the speech a lot more interesting."
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