Friday, December 21, 2007

Review of 2007

It's not even over yet....but JibJab's found enough stuff to make a pretty funny review of 2007. Also, JibJab has a new feature that allows you to cut out the heads on your digital pictures and use them in their videos. Check out the 2007 Review:

Friday, November 30, 2007

Funny Religion Joke

Three men arrive at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks the first man,

"Religion?"

The first man replies, "Episcopalian."

St. Peter looks down his list and says, "go to room 24. But be very quiet as you pass room 8."

To the second man St. Peter asks, "Religion."

The second man replies "Methodist."

St. Peter looks down his list and says, "Go to room 14. But be very quiet as you pass room 8."

To the third man St. Peter asks. "Religion."

The third man replies, "Baptist."

St. Peter looks down his list and says. "Go to room 21. But be very quiet as you pass room 8."

The third man then says to St. Peter, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must we be quiet when we pass room 8?"

St. Peter tells him, "Well, the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

Penis Cutting

Ok....so....hmmm..... Do you know about Kenyan Tribe circumcision rituals?

They usually have a ceremony when the boy turns 14 or 15. The boy is circumcised in front of the tribe, and if the boy flinches he is apparently considered a disgrace to his family. Sweet.....

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

News

We go on a vacation for two weeks to the other side of the country, and when we come back, nobody bothers to tell me that one of the most notable news broadcasters in the country had passed away?


By the way, for all of you who happen to read this blog.... This is Hal Fishman, head anchor of the "Channel 5 News at 10" from 1975-2007.

Dedication

Did you guys hear about the recent American Idol auditions? A woman trying out for American Idol, wouldn't leave the line until she got her chance in front of the judges, despite the fact that she was in labor. According to the news reports, she was actually experiencing contractions while performing for the judges. After she found out that she is going to go to Hollywood to further her chance to become the next American Idol, she finally agreed to get in an ambulance and go to the hospital to deliver little Jamil Labarron Idol McCowan. That's going to be good television.

Funny Names

Ok, so there's a gynecologist in Fairfax, Virginia named Harry Beaver.....

Now I come to find out that there's a professor at the University of Albany named Sho-Ya Wang.....

Look it up if you don't believe me!

Also, screw the Red Sox winning the World Series....This play was sports event of the year. With two seconds left in the game, Trinity laterals the ball fifteen times to make it downfield for the winning touchdown.


Friday, May 11, 2007

ABC's

Noah is a singer. For all of you that have not heard Noah sing his ABC's, I posted a video of him doing it. There's no picture, but the sound is pretty good. Every time he sees the lens of my camera phone he wants to play with it.

Who is the only entertainer to be honored with one of each of the five stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?

Stars can be honored for five types of entertainment styles with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The categories include: contribution to the film industry; contribution to the broadcast television industry; contribution to the recording industry; contribution to the broadcast radio industry; and contribution to live theater.

The singing cowboy Gene Autry is the only person to be honored with each of the five stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

Friday, February 9, 2007

Star Wars IV: The Force Takes Chewbacca

Another fun trivia question for Washington Redskins fans. In 1974, the Washington Redskins offered a professional wrestler a contract to play professional football. The wrestler turned down the football contract to make far more money as a wrestler. Which wrestler was offered a contract by the Redskins?

As you walk the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you pass by the beautiful and historic Grauman's Chinese Theater. Every day, you can walk by the theater and see panhandlers dressed up as stars such as Marilyn Monroe and Superman, offering to pose with tourists for a nominal fee.

Well, sometimes the panhandlers can be a bit aggressive. In probably the best news story ever, a 6-foot 4-inch tall man, dressed in a hairy Chewbacca costume was aggressively offering to pose for a picture with two asian tourists on a guided tour. The tour guide did not appreciate Chewbacca bothering his customers, so he yelled "Stop bothering the tourists!"

Infuriated by the tour guide's comment, Chewbacca screamed "NOBODY TELLS THIS WOOKIEE WHAT TO DO!" and proceeded to headbutt the tour guide. Chewbacca was then arrested by police and taken away in his giant hairiness.

Well, that news story was a great segue into the answer to the trivia question. Both Chewbacca and the wrestler were hairy, large and had very little grasp of the english language. Nobody got this one, huh? Oh well, the answer is Andre the Giant. And for those of you who still don't know who he is, he's the big guy from "The Princess Bride" movie.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Lemen Law 2007

Ok, I'll give this blog thing another shot. I might move it soon, seeing that MySpace is trying to make money off of the people who write blogs on their site by putting Google Adwords ads below the blogs. Power to the people! Down with the man!

Colleen and I were talking a little bit about religion the other night, and started talking about those hardcore religious zealots that re-elected George W. Bush, and how those hardcore religious zealots are primarily in the middle states and have not seriously infected the liberal east and west coasts....

Well, they're heeeeeeeeeeerrrre.......

I'm all for free speech, but I love stories about crazy old women more. Especially if the crazy old women live about ten miles from me.....

Anne Lemen, a Balboa Island resident, is bringing her case for free speech to the California Supreme Court. An innocent Christian woman, just trying to make the world a better place, right?. She wants the world to know that the Village Inn on Balboa Island, is mafia, as are her former husband and the guards at a local church, and the police are in cahoots. Oh yeah, and she claims that the Village Inn has tried to murder her.

Ms. Lemen has reportedly videotaped the Village Inn's customers, told patrons that the bar makes sex videos, dabbles in child pornography, distributes illegal drugs, encourages lesbian activities, has mafia links, is a whorehouse and sells tainted food.

By the way, Colleen, make reservations at the Village Inn on Balboa Island for about 8:00 tonight.....

The owner has said that she once parked in front of his restaurant and blasted the horn for 30 minutes nonstop, and on another evening he watched as passersby scanned his window menu and fled after Lemen told them the food was poisonous and the place was filled with rats.

Lemen reportedly told her interviewer, "There have been four attempts on my life, and the police refuse to investigate because they are part of the bar."

Well, a judge has ordered her to stop bugging the patrons and making accusations that the Village Inn is not a reputable establishment.

Her recent appeal is taking her case for free speech to the Supreme Court of California. Her Christian friends describe her as a cross between Florence Nightingale, Joan of Arc and Erin Brockovich.

To add to Ms. Lemen's crazy religious zealot status:

1. Her garden contains a large stone Bible with Christian verses and a small lighthouse with the words "The Lord Is Our Light." Little booklets about Christianity, titled "Smile, Jesus Loves You," are there for passersby to pick up.

2. She also hangs a large silver circle emblazoned with an eagle and the words "In God We Trust." She said she put it up after hearing that civil libertarians opposed the mention of God on money.

3. Lemen popped a videotape into her VCR for the reporter, to show scenes of crowds of young adults in the early-morning hours outside the bar several years ago. A young woman in the crowd wore a halter top.

"Look at how she dresses," Lemen gasped.

4. She puts on her crown and holds her torch high, as she puts her arm around her front yard Statue of Liberty (holding a Holy Bible) and belts out religious hymns for passersby.

Well, it is interesting to note that Ms. Lemen is waiting for her appeal in a gated, adult community miles from Balboa Island.

I'll try to keep everbody updated on "Lemen Law 2007"!

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