Friday, March 7, 2008

Scientology Video

Many of you have not had the chance to see the Tom Cruise Scientology Video and the Jerry O'Connell's parody of the Scientology Video.

So, for the ten of you who actually look at this thing:

I'm Fucking.......

You’ve all seen the Fucking Matt Damon and Fucking Ben Affleck videos, but check out the Fucking Seth Rogen video.... It’s equally as funny.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Dan Whitney

Ok, so there’s this Dan Whitney. Fucking douche. He’s a comedian? (The question mark at the end of that sentence is intentional.)

Dan Whitney is better known as Larry the Cable Guy. This guy was horrible as Dan Whitney and is now horrible as Larry the Cable Guy. I was recently informed by someone in my office, that he or she is going to pay money to rent "Witless Protection" when it comes out on DVD. What the hell is happening to this world? I want to go down to the theater and find people who have bought tickets for this film, and punch them in the face.

The person that works in my office made the argument that Larry the Cable Guy is as funny as Jeff Foxworthy. I’m not a huge fan of Jeff Foxworthy, but he’s a very intelligent and funny man. This Larry the Cable Guy is a waste of space on Earth and deserves to die a horrible painful death. Why is this guy paid money?

And what the fuck does "GIT-R-DONE" mean?

"Have you ever farted so hard that it made your back crack?"

"They say cellphones put microwaves in your body. This guy used one and pooped out a hot pocket"

Woman in car: "Are you insane?" Larry the Cable Guy: "No, I’m Larry!"

Fuck you Dan Whitney.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Marilyn Monroe Photo

So, Mr. Lawrence Nicastro owned a service station in the Bronx for many years of his life. In 1962, a customer dropped off a car for service and never returned. Mr. Nicastro eventually emptied the contents of the car into a storage unit and sold the car.

When recently looking through the contents of the car placed in the storage unit, he found a rare picture of Marilyn Monroe, nude, hitchhiking, in heels, with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Mr. Nicastro decided to do a little research and got in touch with Mr. Chris Harris, a publicist and Marilyn Monroe expert. Over four months, Mr. Harris verified the authenticity of the Marilyn Monroe photo.

Mr. Nicastro and Mr. Harris set up a press conference, prepared to soak in the praise and the dollars from the press for this rare photo. The day before the press conference, they decided to give the Associated Press reporters a sneak peek. When the sheet was taken off of the rare Marilyn Monroe photo, one Associated Press reported cocked his head quizzically and said "Hey, that’s Madonna." Mr. Harris sheepishly looked at the photo one more time and said "You’re right, it’s Madonna."

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