Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Birthday Video

My Aunt Mary sent me this video on my birthday... Is there any way it could be real?



By the way.... She also introduced me to the "Lion Hug"...


All In One Basket!

I wanted to post this just because I think it's awesome! Simple and fun! That's all I need to be happy.... This is eggstra eggciting! Square eggs!

This is the Peter Petrie egg separator. The yolks get blocked by the nose and the white drip through the nostrils.


Check out how this guy peels a hard-boiled egg in 10 seconds.....

Monday, March 30, 2009

45 Letters!

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is an obscure term ostensibly referring to a lung disease caused by silica dust. This word has been cited as one of the longest words in the English language.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Spike Jonze

For those of you not excited about the new "Where The Wild Things Are" movie directected by Spike Jonze, check out this short commercial he directed for IKEA....

Fifth Third Burger


The West Michigan Whitecaps are offering a huuuuuuge burger with tons of toppings, that might be a wee bit excessive.

The "Fifth Third Burger", named after the Fifth Third Bank (the sponsor of their stadium), is 5/3 pounds of grilled hamburger topped with lettuce, tomato, american cheese, nacho cheese, chili, salsa, sour cream and crunched tortilla chips. Saddled with the heroic task of holding it all together is an eight-inch sesame seed bun.


The burger will cost you a measly $20.00, and eating the burger all by your lonesome will earn you a free t-shirt....

Here are some crazy stats for this immense heart stopping creation...



DAILY VALUE
Calorie4889244%
Total Fat299g460%
Sat. Fat199g597%
Cholesterol744mg248%
Sodium10,887mg454%
Total Carbs354g118%
Protein198g105%

Here's a video of the creation of a massive Fifth Thirds Burger!


Thursday, March 26, 2009

I Know Where The Wild Things Are!


I'm sooooooo excited! One of my favorite books from my childhood, "Where The Wild Things Are" is going to be released as a 'live-action' movie, directed by Spike Jonze, and will arrive in theaters on October 16, 2009.

The original book, written by Maurice Sendak and winner of the Caldecott Medal in 1964, tells the story of Max, who one evening plays around his home, "making mischief" in a wolf costume (chasing the dog with a fork, and growling at his mom, etc.). As punishment, his mother sends him to bed without supper. In his room, a mysterious, wild forest grows out of his imagination, and Max journeys to the land of the Wild Things. The Wild Things are fearsome-looking monsters, but Max conquers them "by staring into their yellow eyes without blinking once," and he is made "the King of all Wild Things." However, he soon finds himself lonely and homesick, and he returns home to his bedroom, where he finds his supper waiting for him, still hot.

The first trailer has been released, and it is looks awesome! If the movie is as heartwarming, touching and emotional as the trailer, it's going to be great.

So here's two videos..... For those of you that don't know the story of "Where The Wild Things Are", the first video is an animated video of the storybook.

The second video is the trailer for the much anticipated film.....






Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tony

Check out this fantastic film about the love and dedication that a father has for his children and the good in everyday people. It's emotional, heart-warming and pretty funny....

The short film stars Tate Donovan as the loving father and is directed by Grant Heslov and George Clooney.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Beatles

Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, the two remaining members of "The Beatles", will be performing at the Radio City Music Hall in New York City on April 4th, 2009. This will be the first reunion of the remaining Beatles since 2002.

Tickets for the show allegedly sold out in nine seconds.

The concert will raise funds for "The David Lynch Foundation" promoting Transcendental Meditation in schools. NOT A JOKE.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God!

This video, titled 'Married To The Eiffel Tower', covers the strangest/saddest topic ever. It's a documentary about Objectum Sexuality, covering people who fall in love with inanimate objects.

The filmmaker follows three different women.

The first woman profiled is Erika La Tour Eiffel, whose last name was changed after she was married, in a ceremony with an officiant, to the Eiffel Tower. Throughout the film, she confesses her love for the Golden Gate Bridge, an archery bow, random fences and bridges, her wife Mrs. Eiffel Tower, and the Berlin Wall.

The second woman, Amy, is in love with a chuch pipe organ that she named 'Paul', a bannister in her church, and a carnival ride in Germany. The narrator even follows her and films a super awkward scene in which Amy spreads the grease from the carnival ride all over her hands and face and proceeds to make out with the carnival ride.

The third woman is Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, which translates to Mrs. Wall. Of course her name was changed after she was married to the Berlin Wall. But she didn't get married to the Berlin Wall until after she ended her relationship with a guillotine.

It's amazing how the documentary covers their intimate experiences with these objects. It's a total of 45 minutes long, however, it's gripping and if you can ignore the interviews about the past experiences that caused damage to the lives of these women, then you'll see a very funny documentary.

If you're thinking that you don't want to watch the videos, let me restate this point, IT'S A MOVIE FOLLOWING WOMEN WHO LOVE AND HAVE SEX WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS!!!!!






Friday, March 20, 2009

Calendar


All right, one more..... Did you know that in any given year, the dates 4/4, 6/6, 8/8, 10/10, and 12/12 fall on the same day of the week. This year it's a Sunday.

Barack-ets

Every time I see this guy, I'm more and more impressed with the fact that he doesn't seem like a smarmy douchebag politician.

This video is eleven minutes of Barack Obama talking to ESPN's Andy Katz about his bracket picks for the NCAA basketball tournament. It's very long and very boring, but it displays Obama as a regular likeable guy. There's something about him that makes me feel comfortable, and I don't get that knot in my stomach that I get when I see other politicians speak.

I picked UNC to win it all too, so I hope he's as good at choosing the winners as he is at running the country.

Levitating Water

It was my anniversary last night, so all I'm posting today is this short video showing what seems to be droplets of water moving up and down in mid air, however, it's just an effect using strobe lights and streams of water. It's like magic!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

One Second Ad

Did you guys see the one second ad during the Super Bowl? There was apparently a huge amount of hype behind it....

Here are three videos, the first video shows the hype for the one second commercial, the second video shows the one second commercials that they decided not to use, and the third video shows the one second commercial that appeared during the Super Bowl.....Enjoy!





Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to my beautiful wife..... I would be nothing without you! I love you!

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Why Don't We Call Them Stewardesses Anymore?

I flew back home from Seattle Washington last night. The flight attendant started the announcements by asking if anyone had lost a wallet, and she said she was holding it at the front of the plane. As everyone looked up to see what the wallet looked like, the flight attendant said, "Now that I've got your attention, here are the safety announcements". What a tricky lady.

I hope to get this guy on my next flight! He's fun and he can find words that rhyme with flotation device. All I could come up with is 'schmotation reschmice"



Tuesday, March 17, 2009

36 Songs - Four Chords

I'm in Lake Stevens, Washington to look at some apartment complexes for work this week and I want to write a blog about how incredibly cold it has been.... However, I am sitting in my hotel room while the guests in the room next to me are screaming, giggling and throwing themselves against the wall.

So here you go, this is all you get.... A comedy band from Australia called 'Axis Of Awesome' put together a medley of 36 songs that use the same four chords.


Monday, March 16, 2009

Literally?

Do they still make music videos anymore? I grew up in the music video generation, and most videos sucked.... Michael Jackson occasionally released a music video that would amaze everyone, like he did with the 'Thriller' video....

Do you ever wonder why the actions in music videos typically have nothing to do with the lyrics in the song? Ever wish songs just sang what was happening in the music video?

Well, someone took the music videos for the Tears For Fears' song 'Head Over Heels' and a ha's song 'Take On Me' and made the lyrics match the actions in the videos.






Friday, March 13, 2009

This Is Why You're Fat - UPDATE


I posted a couple days ago about the Grande Breakfast Burrito from Jack-N-Grill in Denver, Colorado. I wrote that the restaurant menu claims that it's five pounds and that it's stuffed with potatoes, eggs, onions, and ham bits, lots of cheese on top and smothered in red chile.

I was off by a little bit, about two pounds!!!!! It's a seven pound breakfast burrito!!!!

If a man eats it in one sitting, he gets the burrito for free..... If a woman eats the burrito in one sitting, she gets to eats at Jack-N-Grill for free for the rest of her life!!!!!

Madoff Made Off With A Lot Of Money - UPDATE


Bernie Madoff plead guilty to 11 felony counts yesterday and was sent directly to jail to wait for sentencing. No passing go..... No collecting $200.00..... He could be sentenced to 150 years in prison.

In his confession, he told the judge and former clients that "While I never promised a specific rate of return to any client, I felt compelled to satisfy my clients' expectations, at any cost." It wasn't his fault...... He just wanted to make everybody happy..... By lying to them, telling them that their investments were wildly successful, all the while spending their money and not investing it to gain any returns. He confessed that since the early 1990's, the money that was supposed to be invested, was deposited directly into bank accounts, and was NEVER invested!

This man had 4,800 client accounts when he was arrested in December. He falsely reported to these clients that he was holding $64,800,000,000 of their money! The actual investment losses to his client is estimated to be $10,000,000,000 to $20,000,000,000!!!!

As of the writing of this blog, approximately $950,000,000 of Madoff's assets have been recovered to reimburse scammed investors!

What a douchebag!

In Case Of Emergency

Noah loves this..... It's super addicting..... Just Do It! It's a great way to start Friday morning...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Dragon Is Watching You!

This is probably my most favorite optical illusion ever!!!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

This Is Why You're Fat

I'm going to recommend another one. Thisiswhyyourefat.com is a new blog with pictures of the fattiest foods you can imagine. Whenever I'm on their page, I can't decide whether the food looks delicious or disgusting. Here are a couple goodies from their page....


This is a breakfast sandwich with two eggs, two sausages, ham, string cheese and bacon between two blueberry waffles glazed with maple syrup.


This is the Grande Breakfast Burrito from Jack-N-Grill in Denver, Colorado. The restaurant menu claims that it's five pounds and is stuffed with potatoes, eggs, onions, and ham bits, lots of cheese on top and smothered in red chile.

Finally, this is the Lankford Gluttoneer from the Lunchbox Laboratory in Seattle, Washington. It's a half pound prime rib/sirloin/rib eye patty, american cheese, onions, maple bacon, hot link sausage, ketchup and honey mustard.

Here are some awesome photos of the crazy burgers offered at the Lunchbox Laboratory:

Lunchbox Laboratory Photos

I get to go to Washington next weekend for work, maybe I'll stop by......

Check out their blog here:

Thisiswhyyourefat.com

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It's Like They Hate Miracles

This film portrays the poor condition of our health care system.....

I Was Scary In The 80's

Cute and Cuddly

I don't want to distract the millions of people who read my blog daily, but I have found a blog that shines above most others. The people over a Zooborns.com provide a daily update of cute and cuddly newborn animals being born at zoos all over the world.

Here are a few samples of the things you'll see over at Zooborns.com.

Endangered white-naped mangabey monkey born at the ZSL London Zoo.

A cute baby tamarin born at the Como Zoo in St. Paul, Minnesota.

An orphaned sifaka

A baby gorilla born at the San Francisco Zoo.

Go and take a look at them here:

ZooBorns.com

Monday, March 9, 2009

Jon Stewart v. CNBC

I know I'm late to the party, but I've come to realize that even though I've seen funny things on the internet, a lot of other people have not seen them. However, I don't want to become one of those blogs that imitates chain e-mails sent by that person in the office who sends you the one minute and twenty-two second video of the cat singing the Superman theme song, which you don't want to see, but you have to watch the entire video because you're positive that something funny has to happen in the video! Why would they send you the video in the first place!?!?!?!

Jon Stewart, host of the "Daily Show with Jon Stewart", garnered a lot of attention after ripping CNBC apart when Rick Santelli, on-air editor for CNBC, was booked to appear on his show, then backed out a few days before the taping. It's a very funny eight and a half minutes of video, and any explanation I could put into words would not do Jon Stewart justice....

























By the way..... Here's the cat singing the Superman theme song.....

Bombs and Bullets


I watched Scarface for the first time ever the other day. It was pretty good..... Al Pacino was great...

Did you know that 42 characters die, 226 F-Bombs were uttered and 2,049 bullets were fired during the movie?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Nobama?

I get a radical republican e-mail every month or so. They're selling these stickers and I don't think they're very happy with Obama.... Come on, the guy has been President for a little over a month! How come he hasn't solved everything?!?!?!?!



Can we stop saying that Sarah Palin is our number one choice for President of the United States of America?

I was listening to NPR this morning, and during a discussion about gun control, a sheriff who was interviewed said that "not allowing residents to have guns in their homes, would be similar to letting a fat guy loose in a candy store", referring to the eagerness of the burglars to steal from homes that are not protected by their owners. I can't have a gun, because I would hurt myself.... If someone was going to break into my house, I guarantee you that by the time I found my gun, loaded the gun, and got ready to shoot, I would have shot myself in the leg..... Maybe twice.....

I am glad that there are police departments out there to protect me....... As imperfect as they are sometimes, I think that they're better at keeping the peace than I am.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

1 to 100

Here is a short little film showing 100 people, from age 1 to 100 banging a drum. Numbers 78, 91 and 93 are my favorites.... It's quite an interesting way to waste 3 minutes.


Police

My brother-in-law, Tim, is a police officer..... Has been a police officer since I've known him. I wonder if he's ever shot himself in the leg or mistaken a penis for a gun? You've all probably seen both of these, but they're really short and should be watched again and again and again!



Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Presto!

This was nominated (didn't win) for the "Best Animated Short Film" at the 81st Annual Academy Awards. It's a witty little film about a power struggle between a magician and his rabbit.

It's wonderfully funny and worth spending a little time to watch!

Pink Dolphin


A rare albino dolphin has been spotted in Lake Calcasieu, an inland saltwater estuary, north of the Gulf of Mexico in Louisiana. The dolphin is reported to be healthy and normal, and is normally seen in a group of four regular colored dolphins (including his mother).

The only thing different from this albino and other regular dolphins, is that it's entirely pink from tip to tail and it has reddish eyes indicating it's albinism.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Well-Fed

When did he get fat? My favorite new names that I've seen are "Well-Fed" and "K-Fat".




I am very excited to hear that K-Fed has been in the studio with Bone Thugs - N - Harmony recording a new single titled "Paparazzi Music". Watch this video to hear K-Fed and Bone Thugs - N - Harmony talk about how their alliance is a "match made in heaven".

Auction Jackson

I love auctions. Especially when they're selling high profile items that are going to sell for A LOT of money.


Michael Jackson is having a HUUUUUUUUUGE auction, selling tons of his personal belongings, to help pay his creditors.


That's right, Julien's Auction House will auction off items from Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch over five days. The items have been separated into five categories, including I. Garden Statuary and Outdoor Furniture, II. Furniture and Decorative Arts, III. Antiques, Paintings & Fine Decorative Arts, IV. Amusements, Arcade Games & Entertainment, and V. Memorabilia From the Life and Career of Michael Jackson.

Most of the art being auctioned is exquisite, and all the items in the Amusements, Arcade Games and Entertainment section are AWESOME!


Here are some of the highlights from the auction:

In the Garden Statuary and Outdoor Furniture Auction, you can purchase the front entrance gates from the Neverland Ranch, that are estimated to sell for $20,000 to $30,000.


Or you can purchase an original "Here is they are" stature created by Glenna Goodacre, signed and dated 1991, estimated to sell for $150,000 to $250,000.

In the Furniture and Decorative Arts Auction, there's nothing too expensive. Most of the items can be purchased for under $2,000. There is a sculpted ceramic piece from Llardo, titled "Cinderella's Arrival", that is estimated to sell for approximately $5,000 to $7,000.


In the Antiques, Paintings & Fine Decorative Arts Auction, you can buy a marble fireplace surround, estimated to sell for $15,000 to $20,000.


Or a 19th Century Erard Upright Piano, estimated to sell for $10,000 to $15,000.


Perhaps, you're interested in the most expensive piece in the Antiques collection, the painting of "Cleopatra's Last Moments" signed and dated by D. Pauvert in 1892. The painting is estimated to sell for a measly $20,000 to $30,000.


In the Amusements, Arcade Games & Entertainment Auction, you can buy the scissorhands from Edward Scissorhands, estimated to sell for $4,000 to $6,000.


A 1999 Rolls-Royce Silver Seraph Limousine (Specially built for Michael Jackson), estimated to sell for $140,000 to $160,000.


His Neverland Golf Cart (with a picture of Michael Jackson as Peter Pan on the hood) estimated to sell for $4,000 to $6,000.


THE 1954 Cadillac Fleetwood Series 60 Special 4-Door Sedan USED DURING THE FILMING OF DRIVING MISS DAISY!!!!!! estimated to sell for $20,000 to $30,000.


The catalog from the Memorabilia From the Life and Career of Michael Jackson Auction hasn't been completed yet, but the website says that it will be available online soon.

You can check out the catalogs here:


And if you have some extra time, check out this page detailing other famous items that have sold for a lot of money from Julien's Auctions. You'll find Alfred Hitchcock’s California Drivers License that sold for $8,125, the MTV Music Awards that Nirvana won for “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and "Heart-Shaped Box" that sold for $31,250 and $40,800 respectively, and John Lennon's suit from the "Abbey Road" album cover that sold for $117,600!!!!

Check out that page here:

Monday, March 2, 2009

Stalker


On February 19, 2009, Tijauna police detained an Austrian woman accused of stalking "CSI: Miami" star David Caruso.

Austrian prosecutors say the woman sent the American actor more than 100 letters, pursued him for an autograph and then sent death threats when he refused to give her one.

She was charged with stalking and threatening to kill Caruso, but failed to show up for court in 2007 and was believed to be on the run.

When David Caruso was reached for a comment, he slowly put his sunglasses on and said:

"Stalker? I don't even like corn!"

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Google Earth

Google Earth is one of the most amazing products in the entire world. I don't know how they do it, but I think Google will take over the world one of these days...

I'm sure you've heard the reports that Google Earth may have found the Lost City of Atlantis, well, their satellite cameras have found a lot of other interesting items while taking pictures of our world.


She's been on every cover of her own magazine, why shouldn't she her image be carved into a cornfield.

See the image on Google Maps:

Oprah Maze


This is the Coronado Naval Amphibious Base in San Diego . The Navy has reported that it's planning to spend more than $600,000 to mask the shape. "We don't want to be associated with something as symbolic and hateful as a swastika," a spokesman said.

See the image on Google Maps:

Naval Swastika


The SS Jassim, a Bolivian cargo ferry, ran aground and sunk on the Wingate Reef off the coast of Sudan in 2003.

See the image on Google Maps:

Shipwreck



The Davis-Monthan Air Force Base outside of Tuscon, Arizona has more than 4,000 military aircraft parked on the base, from B-52s to stealth bombers, where they are salvaged for parts and broken down for scrap.

See the image on Google Maps:

Airplane Graveyard


This has been rumored to be a cruise missile, thought to be fired during military training exercises in the Utah mountains. Many dispute the image and say it's merely an airplane.

See the image on Google Maps:

Missle Test
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