Friday, July 31, 2009

Another Reason To Not Go To Florida


CBS News reported today that a wild 17-foot long Burmese Python was captured in Okeechobee County. The snake wieghed in at 207 pounds and was 26 inches in diameter.... WILD GIANT MAN EATING SNAKES!!!! No thank you....

New Redskins Rookie Can Jump

The Washington Redskins might be fun to watch this year.... The Redskins signed rookie wide receiver Keith Eloi from the University of Nebraska - Omaha in May. This guy is awesome! Not only can he jump into a truck....

He can jump out of a pool.... BACKWARDS!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

4 Years Old!

Noah turns four years old today! I know! Crazy right? It might not sound like a huge accomplishment, but seriously, I'm like Lennie from "Of Mice and Men". All my well read readers are laughing right now....

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

People, We Live In California, This Is Our Home

Pack up the bags my dear, we're moving to Santa Cruz! I originally titled this blog "The Iraq, And Such As", because there's no way you can watch this video without thinking of Miss South Carolina.... This woman should really go to work for the State of California, the budget issues would have been solved a long time ago....

Now if you'll excuse me, one of the east coast slaves just stopped tending to the vegetable trees....

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Hole In One

This is literally the most awesome hole in one ever!



And just for good measure.... Here's the second most awesome hole in one ever!

Monday, July 27, 2009

All Obama Has To Do


Albert Einstein


This is Albert Brooks. He's an amazingly talented comedian and actor. You've seen him everywhere. He's the voice of Marlin, Nemo's father, in "Finding Nemo". He was nominated for a "Best Supporting Actor" Academy Award in 1987 for his role in the movie "Broadcast News"....

Did you know that his real name is Albert Einstein? He changed it before he started his career, so he wouldn't be mixed up with the famous physicist.

Also, did you know he is the older brother of Bob Einstein? Better known as MR. SUPER DAVE OSBORNE!!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Turtle Love

I've been debating for about a week about whether or not I wanted to post this video. After watching it about thirty times (and laughing every single time), I've come to the conclusion that it's worth posting.... It funny, cute and disturbing all at the same time....


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Quote Unquote

Did you know that Darth Vader never said "Luke, I am your father."? In a recent poll, that line was voted as the "#1 Misquoted Movie Line Of All Time". What he actually says is "No, I am your father." And did you know that "Beam me up, Scotty!" was never used in the Star Trek television or movie series? Here are a few other commonly misquoted movie lines....

From Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs:

Misquoted: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"
Quoted: "Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"

From Dirty Harry:

Misquoted: "Do you feel lucky, punk?"
Quoted: "You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

From Casablanca

Misquoted: "Play it again, Sam."
Quoted: ""You played it for her, you can play it for me. If she can stand it, I can. Play it!"
(Ingrid Bergman says "Play it, Sam!")

From Silence of the Lambs:

Misquoted: "Hello, Clarice."
Quoted: "Good evening, Clarice."

From The Wizard Of Oz:

Misquoted: “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto”
Quoted: "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Matter Of Minds

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."

Dr. Theodor Geisel
Dr. Seuss

Alice In Wonderland Trailer

Here's the first trailer for Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland movie. Don't get me wrong, I like Johnny Depp, but they appear to be marketing the movie as if he's the only actor in the movie.... By the way, did you know that Christian Bale stars in Public Enemies alongside Johnny Depp?

UPDATE: Wow.... Disney has apparently waved their magic wand and put the kabash on the trailer.... Here's a few more pictures to enjoy.....

UPDATE #2: It's back.... Ok... Watch it while you can.... Until Disney decides to take this one down too....






Yo Quiero Gidget


I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay at work today. I am heartbroken.... Gidget the Chihuahua died last night at the age of 15.

She is best known for her role as the Taco Bell Chihuahua, however, you may know her from her role in the Geico commercials alongside the Geico gecko, or how she stole the scenes away from Reese Witherspoon in "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde"!

Always know Gidget, "Yo still quiero Taco Bell"..... Does anyone know how to say the word "still" in spanish?

Lesser Of Two Evils

"Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil."

Jerry Garcia

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

F-Minus

I was reading the comics page in the Orange County Register last week, and wondered to myself, "When did comics become so unfunny?" Well, here's a really funny comic, well, the strips I posted here are pretty funny. Why isn't this comic strip in the OC Register? I guess they can't find room between the HI-larious Garfield and B.C....






Monday, July 20, 2009

Buzz Aldrin Is A Fighter - Not A Lover

Today is the 40th Anniversary of Neil Armstrong and Eugene "Buzz" Aldrin being the first humans to walk on the moon.

Do you remember when filmmaker Bart Sibrel confronted Buzz Aldrin outside a hotel in California? Bart Sibrel berated Aldrin, claiming that the famous moon landing was a fake, and that Aldrin was a liar, a cheat and a thief, until 72 year-old Buzz Aldrin proceeded to punch Bart Sibrel in the face! That was the best old guy moment ever!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Moonwalk Blooms Eternal

What do Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstong and Michael Jackson have in common?

They're all Moonwalkers!

I'll assume you're laughing on the inside....

Anyway, a music company or radio station named Studio Brussel created a website asking people to send in a video of their "Moonwalk". Thousands of people have sent in their Moonwalking videos and they're streamed together to create an "Eternal Moonwalk" as a tribute to Michael Jackson. Be warned, most people sent in videos of their best "Walking Backwards" rather than their best "Moonwalk".

If you do go to the site.... Search for 8600.... That one's my favorite. Click on the picture of the site below to get to the site....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

According To NASA


Today is the 40th Anniversary of the launching of Apollo 11, and Monday, July 20th, is the 40th Anniversary of Neil Armstrong and Eugene "Buzz" Aldrin being the first humans to walk on the moon.

Well, NASA reported today, that after an exhaustive three-year search for some tapes that contained the original footage of the Apollo 11 moonwalk, they have concluded that the tapes were probably destroyed during a period when NASA was erasing old magnetic tapes and reusing them to record satellite data.

It's kind of like an horrible episode of "According to Jim". Or what they call in the entertainment world, an episode of "According To Jim".... Think about it.... If NASA was a bumbling husband who was simple and didn't know a mop from a spoon, the moonwalk tapes were the wedding videos, and the satellite data was the Super Bowl. Boom.... Horrible sitcom....

Bucks For Bullets

This sounds like a setup.... And if it's not a setup, it sounds like a lot of work.... Cory A. Booker, the Mayor of Newark, New Jersey, is offering $1,000.00 to rat out people who own illegal firearms. That's all you have to do.... Sounds easy, right?


Well, first, you have to call the anonymous tip line and report the crime, and they give you a pin code..... Easy.

Then, you call back a month later to find out if the anonymous tip led to an arrest. If it did, you get a second pin number. Easy.

Finally, you just take the two pin numbers to the bank, and they give you $1,000.00! Easiest money ever made....

One more step. You have to be the unemployed guy from New Jersey, who has to explain to all his thug friends from New Jersey, how you can afford those new shiny $1,000.00 rims for his 1992 Honda Accord.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Unnecessary Apostrophe

Noah came to the office yesterday and enjoyed some delicious watermelon. Notice that it says: "Watermelon in it's own juice."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

All Star Game (Yawn)

The Major League Baseball All-Star Game is tonight. Save yourself some time and watch this video instead of the game. The video is only a minute long and WAYYYYY less boring than the commercial-laden All Star Game. Don't get me wrong, I used to love baseball. I still do! I just don't have the attention span to watch a three (or four) hour baseball game on television anymore.... And I definitely don't have the patience to pay attention to what's happening in baseball during the inexplicable 162 game season.

At least the All Star Game means that the season is half over. Wait.... What?!?!?! There's three more months of baseball and 81 more baseball games for each team.

The video shows Josh Womack of the Long Beach Armada (of the independent Golden Baseball League) performing bat tricks for the camera before a game.... I'd like to see the steroid-laden behemoths in the majors do this....

Monday, July 13, 2009

George W. Bush Presidential Librarium

Here it is.... The George W. Bush Presidential Librarium!


Click on the picture below to see the interactive version to see closeups and descriptions of the Dow Jones Rollercoaster, the Church and Skate, the Golden Parachutes and all the other rides.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Number 37

Crazy-ass Ron Artest, the same guy who was suspended for almost an entire season for attacking a fan after having a beer thrown at him, is coming to play basketball for the World Champion Los Angeles Lakers next season. He has decided to wear the number 37 as a tribute to Michael Jackson, because 'Thriller' spent 37 weeks at #1 on the national sales charts....

Paper, Snow.... A Ghost!!!!

Have you seen the video of "Michael Jackson's Ghost" they saw at Neverland Ranch during the Larry King Live show on CNN?



Well, here is a new video that shows the image with a little more clarity....


Striped Pajamas


I don't want to tell you not to watch this movie, but I watched "The Boy In The Striped Pajamas" last night, and it made me feel miserable. Great acting and great story.

"The Boy In The Striped Pajamas".... It should have been a happy-go-lucky movie about a boy who loves his pajamas, right? Not so much.... I've seen a lot of movies, and never has a movie left me feeling this way. I feel like I have a rock in the pit of my stomach.... I don't think I'm going to get this movie out of my head for a long time.


Again, I'm not telling you to not watch this movie. It didn't make me cry.... It did give me nightmares, and I still feel uncomfortable.... It wasn't scary, it was gripping and powerful. Oh yeah, and gutwrenching.... Go watch this movie, let me know what you thought....

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Happily Scared

This video makes me extremely happy and frightened at the same time....


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

People Love Themselves Some Michael Jackson

After posting the 'Paris Jackson's Memorial Speech' video on YouTube, it received more comments than all 55 of the other videos I have posted - combined!

Here's a question.... Why can't people spell Michael? It's not Micheal. Oh well, I understand, they probably haven't seen the name Michael anywhere during the past two weeks.... Oh wait, you see it everywhere!

Here's are some of my favorite (to make fun of) comments:

"So Sad. Im Really Crying Right Now.R.I.P Michael Jackson. Best Person EVER. "

"I thought MJ would come back at one of his tours and just start singing, and this would just be a joke, but I think it's real. And I don't think he would want to play a prank like that anway and make his fans mad. But I really wish this was just a prank. "

"omg. Don't you wish that like his death was all a prank in order to promote his COMEBAACK concert. Lol. (x Idk why, but it all seems really planned to me. Hahha. But, that's just me. ]: I hope that it is a prank though. But if it's not, Rest in paradise, Michael Jackson. We love you. (= "

"i was hoping mj was gonna pop out of the coffin and this all just was a joke."

Man I love the internet....

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I Promised Myself I Wouldn't Cry

I don't want to be that lame ass blogger who writes some lame ass tribute to Michael Jackson, but this moment at the memorial today was so touching, besides the part where Magic Johnson said that eating Kentucky Fried Chicken with Michael Jackson was the best time of his life, that I wanted to share it with you....

I didn't know Michael Jackson, but it did seem like if he loved anybody, it was his kids.... I can't imagine what they're feeling, or the crap storm the media is going to drag them through in the following weeks. This makes me sad.... Damn parental empathy!

Is This Any Good?

Do you like this color better? I thought it was getting a little dark with that black background.... I don't think I want to go too crazy with the background.... What do you think?

Julie and Julia

I can hear it now.... Yeah, he's so gay.... Ha ha ha.... But I am so excited about this movie! Julia Child was a delight to watch on television.... She was personable and relatable and real....

Julia Child was Paula Deen before Paula Deen was Paula Deen! Except for the fact that she cooked French food....

So if you remember watching Julia Child on television, this trailer should get you really excited to see the film. Amy Adams is so charming, and Meryl Streep channels Julia Child! She definitely redeems herself for 'Mamma Mia' with this role.... Ok, well maybe she redeemed herself by getting nominated for a Best Actress Academy Award for her role in 'Doubt', but I didn't see it, so 'Doubt Schmout'. Do yourself a favor and watch the trailer....



By the way, Julie and Julia started as a blog, then became a book, and then became a movie.... So look for 'As Black As Obama' or 'I Think It's Interesting' on bookshelves soon! Maybe I should start writing something with a theme.... Ooooh! Maybe something about fatherhood.... Or maybe I should just keep writing and posting silly videos about crap I think is interesting....

Monday, July 6, 2009

He's A Human Being Too!

Check this out! Here are some photos from "The Official White House Photostream" on flickr. The White House representatives post fantastic pictures of Obama and his staff taking care of business. Here are some of the pictures I found interesting. Click on the banner below to see the entire photostream.















Friday, July 3, 2009

The Elevator To Heaven

Video artist Marco Brambilla was commisioned by the owner of the Standard Hotel in New York to create an art piece that could be installed in the hotel's elevators.

As the elevator rises, the video takes you from the fiery pits of hell to the serene tranquility of heaven. And as you descend, you're taken back to the fiery pits of hell.

The artwork is amazing, but I have a couple of questions....

Is Marco Brambilla comparing the streets of New York to hell?

and

Do I need to reserve a room in the hotel to use the elevator?

and

If I don't reserve a penthouse hotel room, will I not be able to see the entire piece?

Well.... If the answer to the third question is yes.... You're welcome, I just saved you from a trip to New York and spending $1,000 on a penthouse hotel room.

You have to watch it a few times to catch everything... I think I saw Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzenneger.... I know I saw the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man....

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Happy 21st Birthday Chelsea!

That's all I'm allowed to say, (because I was told that all the other really funny things I wanted to say were stupid, too offensive, or would make other people cry.)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Transformers Math

I found this online.... I hope it makes you laugh too....


By the way, if (d Optimus / dx) does not equal 'Optimus Prime', I'm going to feel like a huge ass.

Who's Coming With Me?

All right, Friday is the public viewing of Michael Jackson at Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara! Who's coming with me?

Anyway, here's what I think of when I hear the name Michael Jackson.... Captain EO! Here's the regular video and the 3D version! Seriously, if you have the glasses, watch the 3D version! By yhe way.... If you don't have any 3D glasses, ask Sarah, she told me she has 4 pairs, and I'm sure she wouldn't mind letting you borrow them for a while.....

REGULAR VERSION




3D VERSION



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